back from the dead.

whoa. i can't believe i completely forgot about this blog. damn! july, august, september, october, november, december, january, february. it's been 8 months since my last post. whoa. really.

anyways... it's hard to imagine that it's already 2010. time sure flies by so suddenly. i'll be turning 20 on 02/20. ha! funny numbers! :D

well i guess nothing much has changed these past few months. mag-iisang taon na ko sa work. which is kinda cool. haha. but then again, so are my friends... marami sa kanila graduating na by next year. i wish them the best!

lately i've been venting out my inner art-ism (or should i say autism) through simple songs. (na wala namang tono. psshh... yeah right. i don't even play the guitar.. how in the world will i get these done?!) but still, it's fun writing songs even if they're just poems. ^^,

here are the ones i've written so far:

BREAK IN ENCOUNTER

I.
gusty winds of post-fall, pre-winter
dirty stains were scattered all over
the second floor bedroom on your apartment
broken lock of backdoor in the basement

I start to wonder and try to consider
"did someone break in and try to enter?"
tiny, broken pieces of shattered equipment
hurry, internalize your rules of engagement

Chorus
fear has eaten your judgement, you got no more time
mind in sudden impairment, hoping safety is sublime
fear has eaten your judgement, you got no more time
mind in sudden impairment, hoping safety is sublime

II.
a ghastly feeling from imagined disaster
3 am in the wall clock over the corner
walking slowly with resolved temperament
remember, be careful and just keep silent

at the distance, a shadow, unknown stranger
crawling at the dark, close quarter danger
not thinking, attack in a spur of the moment
bloodied face and stains on painted wall pavement

Chorus
fear has eaten your judgement, you got no more time
mind in sudden impairment, hoping safety is sublime
fear has eaten your judgement, you got no more time
mind in sudden impairment, hoping safety is sublime

Chorus
fear has eaten your judgement, you got no more time
mind in sudden impairment, hoping safety is sublime
fear has eaten your judgement, you got no more time
mind in sudden impairment, hoping safety is sublime

***

FIFTY-FIFTY

*why is it that sometimes your mind is thinking the complete opposite of what your heart is feeling?*

I.
thinking process on the edge
absolute equality in my mind
lure me out of this chaos
balance of opposing sides

fifty percent negativity
fifty percent positivity
the logic wants to forget you
but the heart can't escape you

Chorus:
can you explain to me, remind me
your face is everywhere
oh never mind me, don't judge me
shackled from a nightmare
can't you see me, just leave me
i can no longer bear
it can't be, past behind me
you just don't care

II.
wise decision with rotten judgment
fond memories from b-side stories
mind unharmed from distractions
heart sulking in senseless pathos

fifty percent negativity
fifty percent positivity
the logic wants to forget you
but the heart can't escape you

Chorus:
can you explain to me, remind me
your face is everywhere
oh never mind me, don't judge me
shackled from a nightmare
can't you see me, just leave me
i can no longer bear
it can't be, past behind me
you just don't care

fifty percent negativity
the logic wants to forget you
fifty percent positivity
but this heart can't escape you

***

YOU TALK TOO MUCH FOR SOMEONE SO SPEECHLESS

I.
i've got nothing more
than an empty voice
at the back of my head
screaming and shouting

all i can feel from here
the sacrifice of a martyr
bleeding hips and shattered voices
petty quarrels and stupid choices

Chorus
keep on the lookout and severe the connection
turn the lights out then end this confusion
sorry, get out of here, you're too damn careless
really, you talk too much, for someone so speechless

II.
i've got something more
i wanna say to you
but the ache in my heart
flinching and unwilling

all i want from you
is for you to love me too
drenching lips from wasted chances
doubtful angles from dodging glances

Chorus
keep on the lookout and severe the connection
turn the lights out then end this confusion
sorry, get out of here, you're too damn careless
really, you talk too much, for someone so speechless

all i can hear from you
is a hollow voice of emptiness
all i want from you
is to cure my loneliness

i wanna say to you...
but the ache in my heart...

Chorus
keep on the lookout and severe the connection
turn the lights out then end this confusion
sorry, get out of here, you're too damn careless
really, you talk too much, for someone so speechless

***

FORCED OPPOSITION

I.
shadow of illuminating comet
separated by the visible sunset
magnify this sporadic heartbeat
does it ever make you weak?

heart on full rotation motion
body spinning in full revolution
these visions of lilies and daisies
and make-believe cheesy fantasies

counter measures of a broken heart
a simple balance of right and wrong
constant silence of our distance apart
overdose with alcohol intoxication
calling all the devils and angels
define this battle of opposing angles

II.
sharp scissor cutting plain white paper
sweeping small pieces of torn up letters
a grenade explosion of hate and anger
nullified the magnitude of eventful disasters

lung asphyxiation from blood transfusion
through sheer will and determination
caused a negativity of subatomic particles
thus our lost history and burned down articles

counter measures of a broken heart
a simple balance of right and wrong
constant silence of our distance apart
overdose with alcohol intoxication
calling all the devils and angels
define this battle of opposing angles

***

GHOST OF VOICES

I.
just woke up this morning
looking at my damp and misty window
6 am struck in my alarm clock
it's raining outside, it's raining outside

black frame hanging on the wall
with your picture beside my mirror
i see your face and i feel the distance
you're so far away, you're so far away

Ref.
i just don't want to remember
and i want to forget it all

Chorus
why did it have to happen?
time is running out, hurrying up to you
running frantic and out in the distance
i stop, and i don't know what to do

II.
used to meet you everyday
we'd talk always, come what may
but i get this empty feeling inside
i don't want this, i don't want this

you we're waiting for me
woke up late, and didn't even realize
standing in our meeting place
knife behind your back, saw blood graze

Ref.
i just don't want to remember
and i want to forget it all

Chorus
why did it have to happen?
time is running out, hurrying up to you
running frantic and out in the distance
my heart is burning, my heart is burning

III.
your picture, falling down the bedroom floor
cracking glass, splinters like blades of grass
i picked you up, looking at the mirror
gunpoint, crack down, shot down, bloodied wall

Chorus
why did it have to happen?
time is running out, hurrying up to you
running frantic and out in the distance
we see each other, make it last forever

***

WARMTH

I.
she said hey what are you thinking?
side by side in a backdrop, sweet sunset
inside her bedroom, closed door open closet
lying on her bedroom floor, what am i thinking?

you wanna know what I'm thinking?
turned left, by the door wearing pink corset
I looked at her, attractive like a magnet
Turn on, Hard on, you get the feeling?

Ref.
as beautiful as the heavens
white skin, amber hair, red lips
femme fatale, iron maidens
dirty thoughts, she posed, pink corset

Chorus
i'll stand up for you, come and get you
allured by sweet scent, all logic bent
i'll strip you, just the way you want me to
make love with consent, let's enjoy this moment

II.
she said hey what are you thinking?
side by side on her comfy, warm bedset
bodies touching, soft pillows warm blanket
saw her weak demeanor, what am i thinking?

right now i got this feeling
faced her, over her, beneath a warm blanket
kissed her lips, and then her forehead
we love each other, is what i'm thinking

Ref.
as beautiful as the heavens
white skin, amber hair, red lips
femme fatale, iron maidens
dirty thoughts, she posed, pink corset

Chorus
i'll stand up for you, come and get you
allured by sweet scent, all logic bent
i'll strip you, just the way you want me to
make love with consent, let's enjoy this moment


Final Chorus
i'll always love you, never leave you
keep doing warm accent, love you is what it meant
need me beside you, sure be happy to
make love with consent, let's enjoy this moment

***

POINTLESS

I.
broken hearts collide
it's come to this
she's got nothing to hide
a deafening bliss

liquid mercury pouring down
grit teeth and sweaty lips
cold snaps of empty silence
miss your existence

Ref.
we just couldn't avoid it
did my best to hide it
then you said we're over
worry broken, it's now then never

Chorus I.
i used to hear it from you
sometime back then, somewhere back there
romance executed, somehow we can't remember
time passed by, distance and cold shoulders
you hate to say it, don't wanna hear it
back then was endless, but now just pointless

II.
her tears on the floor
she left me hanging
my cold shivering heart
can't say anything

full clip loaded, silver bullets
squeeze the handle, bloody harvest
down this barrel of 8 millimeter
hurry, just pull the trigger

Ref.
we just couldn't avoid it
did my best to hide it
then you said we're over
worry broken, it's now then never


Chorus II.
you used to hear it from me
sometime back then, somewhere back there
romance executed, somehow we can't remember
no more contact, crossed frosty fingers
i hate to say it, don't wanna hear it
back then was endless, but now just pointless

we hate to say it
since the beginning, it was just pointless

Chorus III.
i used to hear it from you
sometime back then, somewhere back there
romance executed, somehow we can't remember
time passed by, distance and cold shoulders
you hate to say it, don't wanna hear it
back then was endless, but now just pointless

it wasn't endless
just plain pointless

***

ayan. i know. corny. but i still made them. i'm proud of them. ^^